Search results for: dear-dumb-diary-1-lets-pretend-this-never-happened

Let Us Pretend this Never Happened

Author : Jim Benton
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In her diary, middle school student Jamie Kelly describes her life at home and at school, including her attempts to triumph over her nemesis, the beautiful and popular Angeline.

Let s Pretend This Never Happened Dear Dumb Diary 1

Author : Jim Benton
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Read the hilarious, candid (& sometimes mean) diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true...or at least as true as it needs to be. In this book, Jamie contends with Angeline, the school's prettiest, most popular girl (who Jamie thinks is a goon!) and the impending visit of her troll-like little cousin. Will Jamie survive? Will she go mad? Will she send her mom's nasty casserole to starving children in Wheretheheckistan? You'll just have to read the first installment of Dear Dumb Diary to find out!

Dear Dumb Diary Let s Pretend This Never Happened

Author : Jim Benton
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The (nearly) true confessions of Jamie Kelly. Dear whoever is Reading My Dumb Diary Are you sure you're supposed to be reading someone else's diary? Maybe I told you that you could, so that's OK. But if you are Angeline, I did NOT give you permission, so stop it. Dear Dumb Diary, School was OK today. Angeline got her hair tangled up in one of the jillion things she has dangling from her backpack, and the school nurse - who is now one of my main heroes - snipped half a metre of silky blonde hair from the left side of her head, so now Angeline only looks like The Prettiest Girl in the World if you're standing on her right.

Dear Dumb Diary Collection

Author : Jim Benton
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This collection includes BOOKS 1-10 of the bestselling Dear Dumb Diary series!! Dear Dumb Dairy #1: Let's Pretend This Never Happened, Dear Dumb Diary #2: My Pants are Haunted!, Dear Dumb Diary #3: Am I the Princess or the Frog?, Dear Dumb Diary #4: Never Do Anything, Ever, Dear Dumb Diary #5: Can Adults Become Human?, Dear Dumb Diary #6: Problem With Here Is That It's Where I'm From, Dear Dumb Diary #7: Never Underestimate Your Dumbness, Dear Dumb Diary #8: It's Not My Fault I Know Everything, Dear Dumb Diary #9: That's What Friends Aren't For, Dear Dumb Diary #10: The Worst Things Life Are Also Free

Live Each Day to the Dumbest Dear Dumb Diary Year Two 6

Author : Jim Benton
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The hilarious and bestselling series from Jim Benton continues! It's not easy being a middle-schooler, and nobody knows that better than Jamie Kelly. There are surprises around every corner: some good, some bad, all dumb. But when Jamie inherits a trunk of her grandmother's things, she never expects to find the biggest surprise of all -- Grandma's diary. Violating the privacy of a diary is something Jamie would never do . . . unless she was absolutely certain that she wanted to do it. And when she does, she learns that, deep down, everyone is exactly the same. Dumb. Jamie still has no idea that anyone is reading her diary, so please, please, please don't tell her. And definitely don't tell her that she's the star of her very own Dear Dumb Diary movie, available on DVD. (Her glamorous ego might not be able to handle it.)

Dear Dumb Diary 4 Never Do Anything Ever

Author : Jim Benton
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Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true...or at least as true as it needs to be. Her best friend's a backstabber. Her worst enemy is a sweetheart. And her dog is just waiting for the right moment to seek his revenge. Why should Jamie even bother going to school? Why not? After a run-in with Mega-Popular Angeline, aka Pure Evil, Jamie reforms her selfish ways & becomes the decent human being she never thought she could be. But she quickly realizes that helping others kind of stinks. Is someone trying to thwart her attempts at irresistible inner beauty? Or will Jamie finally achieve the "I'm an angel" glow she knows will make Hudson Rivers fall madly in love w/ her?

Dear Dumb Diary 12 Me Just Like You Only Better

Author : Jim Benton
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There are more than 5 million Dear Dumb Diary books in print! Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don't tell her. Dear Dumb Diary, I went five whole days without seeing or hearing from Angeline. I was beginning to get used to it. It's true that I have learned to overlook many of Angeline's flaws, like her flawlessness, but she can still be difficult to be around. Like when she's lit perfectly, for example. To my extreme credit, I have learned to pretend to ignore Angeline's failure to not be perfect.

Dear Dumb Diary 7 Never Underestimate Your Dumbness

Author : Jim Benton
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Sneak a peek inside the NY Times bestselling diary of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything she writes is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be. Dear Dumb Diary, Isabella is probably right. She almost always is. When I think back on all the things I've seen Angeline do, the one thing they have in common is that they're all dumb. (They're all strawberry-scented, too, but I think that's just her conditioner -- although her body might actually secrete its own strawberry scent.) But of all the dumb things she's ever done, this has got to be the dumbest. . . .

Dear Dumb Diary 2 My Pants Are Haunted

Author : Jim Benton
File Size : 62.33 MB
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Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be. They were just a soft, ordinary pair of thrift-shop jeans until Jamie Kelly tried them on . . . Then they became a tight, scratchy, slightly smelly, and utterly ordinary pair of thrift-shop jeans with an embarrassing haunting problem. Do the pants have the power to soothe a vengeful beagle, vanquish The Prettiest Girl in the World, or make the wearer irresistible to the eighth cutest guy in the grade? Are the haunted pants so dazzling they can hurt and maybe permanently damage the eyes of onlookers? Or are the haunted pants just, well, haunted (which is kind of gross when you think about it)?

Dear Dumb Diary 8 It s Not My Fault I Know Everything

Author : Jim Benton
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New York Times Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with another hilarious, candid, and sometimes not-so-nice diary! Dear Dumb Diary, I went back and read some of my very oldest diaries. The entries say things like "I eated salad dressing" and "I got a Barbie shoe stuck in Stinker's nose again" and "The vet was mean to me about the Barbie shoe so I tried to bite him but vets are quick at not getting bit because dogs try all the time but dogs don't usually kick so I did that." What amazed me was just how dumb I used to be, considering how smart I am now. There must have been a day when I just woke up smart.

Dear Dumb Diary 3 Am I the Princess or the Frog

Author : Jim Benton
File Size : 77.1 MB
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Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be. Jamie is crushing on Hudson. Someone too-gross-to-be- named is crushing on Jamie. And Hudson is crushing on . . . Princess Turd of Turdsylvania (a.k.a. The Prettiest Girl in the World). Middle school may be grim, but it's no fairy tale. And crazy doesn't even begin to cover it.

Dear Dumb Diary 5 Can Adults Become Human

Author : Jim Benton
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Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true...or at least as true as it needs to be. Dear Dumb Diary, My social studies teacher, Mr. VanDoy, never smiles. I know that's hard to believe, because everybody smiles about something, right? Isabella smiles when her brothers get in trouble. Angeline smiles when she thinks about how much prettier she is than, like, a waterfall or a unicorn. I smile when I think about a unicorn kicking Angeline over a waterfall. But Mr. VanDoy doesn't smile at all. I wonder if when you become an adult, you can lose your sense of humor the way you lose your teeth or hair or fashion sense.

Dear Dumb Diary 9 That s What Friends Aren t For

Author : Jim Benton
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Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don't tell her. Dear Dumb Diary, So now I'm friends with Angeline. This is automatic friendship, and I have to just accept it and make the best of things. See, if I objected, then Aunt Carol might divorce Angeline's uncle, sending both of them tumbling into a deep pit of depression for the rest of their lives, and Angeline could wind up feeling so guilty that she would have to go be locked up in an old dirty insane asylum for years and years, and Stinker's puppies could grow up not knowing both their parents --- and I couldn't live with myself for doing something like that to a puppy.

Dear Dumb Diary 6 The Problem with Here Is That it s Where I m From

Author : Jim Benton
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Everyone's favorite Mackerel Middle-Schooler, Jamie Kelly, is back with another hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice) diary! There's a new girl in at Mackerel Middle School. Colette is friendly, fabulous, smart, totally talented, and an all-around amazing individual. She is more brilliantly diabolical than Isabella, as blindly loyal as Stinker, and even harder-to-resist than Angeline. It's enough to make Jamie throw up a little. And Jamie just can't help but wonder: Is it humanly possible for a girl to be more perfectly perfect than the most perfect girl in the world?

Dear Dumb Diary Year Two 5 You Can Bet on That

Author : Jim Benton
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The hilarious and bestselling series from Jim Benton continues! Jamie, Isabella, and Angeline have known each other for a long time. They've even become friends -- whether Jamie likes it or not. But when the trio starts a friendly competition, all bets are off. The loser will be treated to a game of Dare or Worse Dare... with Isabella. (And Jamie's pretty sure that's like having a banana-peeling contest with a starving monkey. The monkey always wins.) What could go wrong? Probably everything. And it's probably all that blondwad Angeline's fault. Probably. Jamie still has no idea that anyone is reading her diary, so please, please, please don't tell her. And definitely don't tell her that she's the star of her very own Dear Dumb Diary movie, available on DVD. (Her glamorous ego might not be able to handle it.) ----------- EXCERPT: Dear Dumb Diary, Isabella and I had one of those days where you spend four hours trying to come up with something to do, and then by the time you do, there’s no time to do it so you just watch TV in positions that make it look like maybe you were born without bones. We do this about twelve times a month. "Since we're not doing anything, we should practice debate," I said. "No, we shouldn't," Isabella said. "We just did," I said.

Can Adults Become Human

Author : Jim Benton
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Jamie Kelly writes in her diary about her social studies teacher, Mr. VanDoy, the budding relationship between her Aunt Carol and Assistant Principal Devon, and the real story behind Isabella's detention.

Me Just Like You Only Better

Author : Jim Benton
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Jamie Kelly writes in her diary about her "flawless" friend, Angeline, her favorite band, and all the trials and tribulations of middle school.

Dear Dumb Diary

Author : Jim Benton
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Includes #1: Let's Pretend This Never Happened, #2: My Pants are Haunted, and #3: Am I the Princess or the Frog?

American Book Publishing Record

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Dumbness is a Dish Best Served Cold Dear Dumb Diary Deluxe

Author : Jim Benton
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Jamie Kelly is back and dumber than ever in this super-deluxe four-color Dear Dumb Diary special edition! Life at Mackerel Middle School is as dumb as ever -- but Jamie Kelly may have finally found the key to fame, fortune, and fabulousness. Together with Isabella and Angeline, she's come up with a moneymaking idea, and it has to do with food. Everyone likes food! They're going to be rich! The only problem? They have to come up with something that people actually want to eat. Jamie has some sophisticated thoughts on food, like, "She was manipulating us like dough. Like the sweet, delicious dough that we are. And she was baking us into the type of delicious cookies you can only get from dough like us. And she was putting sprinkles of us on top of us, and -- forget it. I'm hungry. I want some cookies." This is sure to go well.