Despatched to the village of VFD, the three Baudelaire orphans think they may at last be able to find out what Duncan Quagmire meant when he frantically screamed those enigmatic letters, before Count Olaf abducted him and his sister.

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES Dear Reader, You have undoubtedly picked up this book by mistake, so please put it down. Nobody in their right mind would read this particular book about the lives of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire on purpose, because each dismal moment of their stay in the village of V.F.D. has been faithfully and dreadfully recorded in these pages. I can think of no single reason why anyone would want to open a book containing such unpleasant matters as migrating crows, an angry mob, a newspaper headline, the arrest of innocent people, the Deluxe Cell, and some very strange hats. It is my solemn and sacred occupation to research each detail of the Baudelaire children's lives and write them all down, but you may prefer to do some other solemn and sacred thing, such as reading another book instead. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on . . . The Carnivorous Carnival contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal. To avoid causing discomfort, it would be best if I didn’t mention any of the ingredients of this story, particularly a confusing map, an ambidextrous person, an unruly crowd, a wooden plank and Chabo the Wolf Baby. Your time might be better filled with something more palatable such as eating your vegetables or feeding them to someone else. With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children’s authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on . . . There are many pleasant things to read about, but The Miserable Mill contains none of them. Within its pages one will find a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident and coupons. With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children’s authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on . . . In The Reptile Room the siblings endure a car accident, a terrible smell, a deadly serpent, a long knife, a brass reading lamp, and the re-appearance of a person they’d hoped never to see again. With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children’s authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children’s authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on . . . Within the chapters of The Austere Academy the children face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals, S.O.R.E. and the metric system. With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children’s authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on . . . The Ersatz Elevator is the sixth instalment in A Series of Unfortunate Events in which Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire encounter a darkened staircase, a red herring, friends in a dire situation, three mysterious initials, a liar with an evil scheme, a secret passageway and parsley soda. With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children’s authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on . . . In The Wide Window we encounter a story that includes a hurricane, a signalling device, hungry leaches, cold cucumber soup, a horrible villain and a doll named Pretty Penny. With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children’s authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on . . . In The Bad Beginning the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune and cold porridge for breakfast. Then again, why trouble yourself with the unfortunate resolutions? With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children’s authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.

Please note that the content of this book primarily consists of articles available from Wikipedia or other free sources online. Pages: 55. Chapters: A Series of Unfortunate Events, Works by Lemony Snicket, List of A Series of Unfortunate Events locations, V.F.D. members, Fauna of A Series of Unfortunate Events, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, Lemony Snicket bibliography, Flora of A Series of Unfortunate Events, Sugar bowl, Untitled Lemony Snicket series, The Tragic Treasury: Songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events, Great Unknown, The Composer Is Dead, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid, The Gothic Archies, The Lump of Coal, The Latke Who Couldn't Stop Screaming, The Baby in the Manger. Excerpt: This is a list of fictional locations that appear in the children's book series A Series of Unfortunate Events, by Lemony Snicket. The Hinterlands are a fictional area of wasteland/desert appearing in The Vile Village, The Hostile Hospital, and The Carnivorous Carnival. They are famous for their magnificent blue sunsets. The Baudelaires mention that they had always wanted to see the Hinterlands and were promised by their parents that they would visit one day. The Hinterlands are also home to the Caligari Carnival, which is the only attraction in the area. The Caligari Carnival is at the end of Rarely Ridden Road. The Mortmain Mountains are a fictional mountain range in The Slippery Slope. The range is first mentioned in The Ersatz Elevator, when Jerome Squalor refers to Mount Fraught, the largest mountain in the range. The Valley of the Four Drafts, in which the Snow Scouts gather, is in the Mortmain Mountains. The range is also the location of the penultimate safe place for V.F.D. members, the only other being the Hotel Denouement. When The Man With a Beard but No Hair and the Woman With Hair but No Beard started a fire at the penultimate safe place for the members of the V.F.D., the sugar bowl was tossed out a window down the Stricken Stream, ...

High Quality Content by WIKIPEDIA articles! Klaus Baudelaire ( / kla s bo d l r/) is one of the main characters in the children's book series, A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket who appears in all thirteen novels. Klaus is the middle child of the Baudelaire orphans; he has an older sister named Violet and a younger sister named Sunny. His sister Violet is the family inventor, Sunny is the family biter (and later chef) and Klaus is the researcher. He is twelve years old at the beginning of the series, and turns thirteen in The Vile Village. By the end of the series, he is fourteen (fifteen years old if you count Chapter Fourteen). Klaus is the "bookworm" of the family, and his love of books has often helped him save himself and his sisters.

Celebrated author Nancy Polette offers a complete mystery literature guide for primary, intermediate, and middle school mysteries. • Offers step-by-step guides for using mysteries in the classroom, including more than 200 mystery booktalks • Provides lists of the Edgar Allan Poe Junior Mystery Award winners from 1979 to 2008 • Ties to the National Standards in Reading, Language Arts, and Social Studies

A boat has gone missing. Goods have been stolen. There is blood in the water. It is the twenty-first century and a crew of pirates is terrorizing the San Francisco Bay. Phil is a husband, a father, a struggling radio producer and the owner of a large condo with a view of the water. But he'd like to be a rebel and a fortune hunter. Gwen is his daughter. She's fourteen. She's a student, a swimmer and a best friend. But she'd like to be an adventurer and an outlaw. Phil teams up with his young, attractive assistant. They head for the open road, attending a conference to seal a deal. Gwen teams up with a new, fierce friend and some restless souls. They head for the open sea, stealing a boat to hunt for treasure. We Are Pirates! is a novel about our desperate searches for happiness and freedom, about our wild journeys beyond the boundaries of our ordinary lives. Also, it's about a teenage girl who pulls together a ragtag crew to commit mayhem in the San Francisco Bay, while her hapless father tries to get her home.

This volume examines a variety of utopian writing for children from the 18th century to the present day, defining and exploring this new genre in the field of children's literature. The original essays discuss thematic conventions and present detailed case studies of individual works. All address the pedagogical implications of work that challenges children to grapple with questions of perfect or wildly imperfect social organizations and their own autonomy. The book includes interviews with creative writers and the first bibliography of utopian fiction for children.

The Book Publishing Industry focuses on consumer books (adult, juvenile, and mass market paperbacks) and reviews all major book categories to present a comprehensive overview of this diverse business. In addition to the insights and portrayals of the U.S. publishing industry, this book includes an appendix containing historical data on the industry from 1946 to the end of the twentieth century. The selective bibliography includes the latest literature, including works in marketing and economics that has a direct relationship with this dynamic industry. This third edition features a chapter on e-books and provides an overview of the current shift toward digital media in the US book publishing industry.

"Organized around the 6 + 1 Writing Traits, the book breaks writing into manageable parts to help both students and teachers deal with all aspects of writing." -- back cover.

“As the first part of the title indicates, my interest in looking at intertextuality and transformation still maintains a prominent place throughout this book as well. If we believe that ‘no text is an island,’ then we will understand that the relationships between and within texts across the years become a fascinating place for academic inquiry. I included the word ‘boundaries’ into the title because we never get tired of voicing our opinions about texts which traverse relegated boundaries, such as genre or medium. Not only am I interested in discussing what these changes across boundaries mean socially, historically, and culturally, but also what they mean geographically, which accounts for the second part of my title. “I am very excited that this book will be placing even more emphasis on children’s literature in an international scene than my first book did, in the sense that I have added more scholars on an international level. I hesitate to list the nationalities of all of the contributors here because quite a few have themselves crossed international boundaries in different ways, by either studying abroad or finding permanent residency in foreign countries. Nevertheless, the writers have lived extensively in or identify as being from Australia, Canada, England, Finland, Germany, Greece, Iceland, Ireland, Israel, Norway, Spain, Sweden, Turkey, the United States of America, and Wales.” —Introduction